The Reverend Kirk T. Berlenbach

Christmas 2007

Few things define the Christmas season better than music. In fact, it just wouldn’t seem like Christmas to me without hearing certain songs like the “Hallelujah Chorus”, “Lo, How a Rose” or “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses. Unfortunately, there are almost as many annoying Christmas songs as there are good ones; like dogs barking “Jingle Bells” or the old standby, “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” which takes nearly twelve days to sing all the way through. Unfortunately, these are also the ones that seem to get stuck in our heads. Lately the song, “We need a little Christmas,” has been rolling around my mind. If you are not familiar, the refrain goes a little like this “Cause we need a little Christmas, right this very minute, candles in the window, carols at the spinet. We need a little Christmas now.”

Anyway, in spite of being a little corny, the song actually says something very profound… Christmas is not just something we want… it is something we need. The more I thought about it, the more truth I saw in it. But while the song focuses on presents and decorations, those are not the things that we need. We need something with substance… something that has the power not just warm our hearts or make us smile; what we need is a Christmas that has the power transform our lives.

The other day I found out just how profound that need really is. I was getting my children ready to head out the door to school. They were both being difficult… shoes had mysteriously disappeared… gloves had been left at school... homework was scattered all around the house. In short, a simple process that should only take 5 minutes was dragging on well past 15 and the hour was getting late. It was time to go. It was in this moment of frustration that my daughter decided that she was NOT going to wear a scarf. At first I tried to coax her, but my patience was already thin so I quickly devolved into yelling but this didn’t work either. Nevertheless, I had made up my mind that, come hell or high water, she was going to wear that scarf. I was faced with an impasse so finally I decided to force the issue and just wrapped the darn thing around her neck. It was at this point that her acting gene kicked in and in her best imitation of someone being strangled she cried out, “Daddy, it’s choking me!” And then it happened. I snapped and for a moment I was overwhelmed by the impulse to actually take that darn scarf and choke her with it.

It sounds funny now, but it wasn’t then.

Needless to say, I was ashamed, in fact I felt terrible. For the rest of the morning it haunted me. I could not believe how rapidly and thoroughly my anger had overwhelmed me. I love my daughter… yet for that split second, I wanted to hurt her. What was wrong with me? The answer is simple. I was in desperate need of Christmas. I know that may sound like trite or even nonsensical. But I am not joking. In that moment of anger, in the hours of shame and guilt that followed what I really needed was something only Christmas can offer.

You see, whether by accident or intent, we human beings are always hurting one another, including the people we love most. Why? It shouldn’t be that hard to get along… we are basically decent, caring people and so we ought to be able to live together without hurting each other. But of course we don’t… if fact we can’t. And so all our relationships, from the causal to the most intimate, are damaged.

Many of us are in denial about this reality. Sometimes we try to gloss over the problem. For example, I could argue that my daughter had it coming or that she will get over it. Other times we hang onto the hope that it is something we can fix it on our own… if I just exercised some more self-control then next time, I won’t loose my temper and everything would be all right. Unfortunately, neither of these solutions really works. To be sure, we can all do more to control our tempers and to make sure that no matter how angry we become, we never lash out in violence. But that will not eliminate the problem. For even if we have G-D in our lives, we are still human and that means that no matter how hard we try, we will continue to hurt one another. We need something more… something greater and more enduring… something that overcomes our own limitations. What we need is Christmas.

At its core, Christmas is about restoring broken relationships. By coming into our world as a human being, Jesus reconciled us to G-D. That is something we could never do on our own because we are both broken and fallible. Indeed, if we cannot repair our own human relationships, how could we possibly fix our relationship with G-D? But G-D was not willing to leave things like that. Because G-D loves us, He gave his only Son in order to do what we could not. By coming among us as one of us, Jesus shows us what it truly means to overcome hurt and estrangement. And so this holy night gives us hope: hope of a new relationship with G-D and hope of being reconciled with one another.

This does not mean perfection. As I said before, we will always make mistakes and continue to hurt one another. Indeed, there are some things we can never undo, never erase, never take back... BUT we do not have to let that hurt have the final say. It is in those moments that we must make a choice- do we choose to let the divide and hurt grow deeper or do we choose to embrace the hope of reconciliation. And it is precisely in those pivotal moments that we are greatest need of what Christmas has to offer.

Of course as bad as my anger at my daughter may have been, there are much more serious examples of our broken relationships… we see it around the world in horror of war and in the record murder rate in our own city. We see it terrified refugees and in the racial and religious prejudice that poison our world. Such problems are so massive and deep-seated that they appear to be beyond even the power of Christmas to repair. But they do not have to be. It all begins with us. So long as we recognize our own need for reconciliation, both with G-D and with one another, then, we can still hope to restore our world, one person, one relationship, at a time.

It all begins with us. I am pleased to say that my daughter and I have long since made up. I have no doubt that she will continue to frustrate me and that I will continue to overreact when she does. But even though I know our future will not be perfect, I am still hopeful. For so long as we never forget our need for the incredible power and meaning of this night, I know we will be OK.

What about you? What relationships in your life are in need of a little Christmas? Who are you angry at? Who have you wronged? Who are you avoiding or not speaking to? This night is a reminder that anger and guilt do not have to have the last word in your life. Whatever hurts you are holding onto, tonight offers you the chance to be reconciled with G-D, with your family, with your friends and with yourself. In the birth of Jesus we all are given the chance to begin again.

That is what we celebrate at Christmas. On this wonderful night G-D came down to earth as one of us, and in that there is hope for us all. As we gather in this place and stand in wonder before the Christ Child, for one brief moment our hurts, our anger and our guilt all fade to insignificance and we are reconciled, not only with G-D, but also with one another. But the greatest gift of Christmas is that its power is not just limited to one night. Any solace, any peace, and joy you find tonight is also there for you every other day of the year as well. And that truly is a reason to be thankful, because we are always in need of a little Christmas.